Struggles. They come in all shapes and sizes, there are ones that come and go and ones that seem to never leave, some that we have dealt with and some that seem to be never ending. No matter what it is that brings you down, holds you back, or creeps at your door waiting to pounce, let me leave you with this- there is hope for freedom. Don’t give up just yet. Don’t believe that this, whatever it may be, is a part of you. We all have things in our lives that keep us bondage, but we have a choice if we want to stay that way or not.
One thing I want to be transparent about are some struggles I have been going through for years now and am finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I’ve struggled with body image, binge eating, under eating and overtraining. It has been a long road to be on, one that just seemed to never end. But I can honestly say that I’m at a place now that I see balance in my life- I know how much time I don’t need to spend at the gym or obsessing about what foods I’m eating. I have a healthy relationship with food where I eat what I want, when I want, and am not stuck in a binging cycle. I don’t relate food as “clean” or “dirty” anymore or restrict myself, but I’m also able to stop when I want to. I also see where my mind was in the wrong in relation to the gym. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love working out, but I was so sucked into the process of seeing results and increasing in my numbers, that I couldn’t even see that I was breaking down my body. And when I got injured about a month and a half ago(it was a long time coming) and had to try different training types, I realized I was actually enjoying myself at the gym more. It became a goal of challenging myself, pushing myself to limits I didn’t think I could go versus I need to do A, B, and C to look like this. I also found the importance of mobility and making sure your form is basically perfect before increasing the weight so that I don’t injure myself anymore (because for those who know, injuries are not fun ;)). And lastly, I can see how all of this stemmed from body image issues, but am seeing the truth in that everyone is beautiful. We are ALL stunning regardless of what society tries to put in our brains of what we should look like and that it even matters in the slightest. But what truly makes us beautiful is what is inside. Now, I’m aware that not everyone who reads this is Christian and that a lot of my posts talk about God and how he has helped me in my walk. But I hope that you read these scriptures and can feel His truths.
But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 1 Peter 3:4
My point in sharing all of that about me is for a few things. I want to be open and real, because nobody is perfect so why should we act like we are? And also, if you guys could know how many times of complete doubt I was in that I would ever find a way out, a place of balance…it was quite a bit. And it was so frustrating, especially because the process was so slow to get where I am now and I’m sure I have even more to go. But also because sometimes I didn’t even know I was struggling. Most of the time it didn’t even phase me that something was off until somebody else said something, or until God opened my eyes. But please know that whatever you all are going through, it’s not for nothing. Through it all you will get stronger, you will find yourself, and you will be free.
The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, Because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the afflicted; He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to captives and freedom to prisoners Isaiah 61:1